4 kids, 2ble the TRUble
by Emothgurl
Summary: Four teens - Gwen & Kevin, Julie and Ben. imagine what could happen with THEM on the loose!
1. ONE I

I spat at him. He reared back.

Kevin Levin is my half-caring, half-rolling-stone half-boyfriend. And he knows it. Which is precisely why I was standing in my bunny slippers and unicorn jammies, freezing cold and without a bra on at 4 in the morning. In the – where else? – Mr. Smoothie parking lot.

About the 'without a bra' part, Kevin Levin didn't do that. I, being diverse, choose to sleep light-chested and not end up having major breathing problems when I try to escape a scorching fire in the middle of the night. Kevin says I have a smart mouth. I tell him that he has a smart ass and that he may also shut up. He usually goes along with it.

Not today.

I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him, blushing. He laughed, not taking his eyes off where my 'over the shoulder boulder holder' should have done duty, and fell down. I sighed, wishing I had the power to make him stop acting like such a lovable jackass.

"Why did you abduct me from my cosy bedcovers to stand here glaring at you in a stony, cold parking lot?" I demanded.

He laughed, his head thrown back, hands on the ground, knees folded up. "You're not real mad. I can tell."

"Well, Why?" I retorted, because it seemed the only reasonable response.

"I was bored."

"What do you want be to do, pole dance for you/"

"No. I'm not that kind of guy."

"Prove it, Kevin Levin."

"Ooh, you called me by my full name. This is serous." He put on a face that looked like a rookie cop meeting a twice-their-size mortician.

"You are impossible!" I storm and march away, head down because it's cold.

Footsteps behind me. I speed up and head up a flight of purple Mana steps. "Aww, c'mon. No fair," came Kevin Levin's slang accent. I'd beaten him. Ha.

Or maybe not. There was a familiar honking – pigeons – and I only had time for a 'Oh, crap," before I was engulfed in a flurry of feathers, beaks, talons, shrieks (hey, that rhymes!), I lost control of my staircase, and I tumbled down to the ground. Into Kevin's arms. I closed my eyes, mumbling, "Don't give him the satisfaction, damn, oh damn it, damn you Kevin, shit, stupid Pigeons," and a few other obscenities before Kevin gave me an unneeded CPR, except for the push-chest-with-hands thing, because he did have some respect.

Maybe I'll do my thesis on that – how can you kiss so long? Do you breathe through your nose? Through gaps at the corner of the mouth? And when you French-kiss – why does it taste like a white-chocolate sundae with Mars Bars crumbled on top?

By then, I think we were both cold, so Kevin fetched a blanket from his car and we wrapped it around and around us, mashing mouths again, until we unrolled and fell asleep.


	2. TWO II

"You sure they're asleep?" giggled a voice. Girl. Julie Yamato.

"Pretty sure." Whispered another back. Male. Ben Tennyson.

Five percent at a time, I was coming to my senses. My senses were: Kevin Levin's arms wrapped around me, one hand on my butt, the other on my back. Kevin Levin's soft snoring. His chin over my head. And sunlight streaming on us. I think I mumbled something like, "Rot in hell, Ben," and tried falling asleep.

But they wouldn't stop. "What are you doing here on a six-am. Saturday morning?" Ben asked. I opened my eyes and tried to get up, but Kevin and I were still entwined. "Wake up, beastie," I muttered as I unwrapped myself.

"He asked you something," Julie said. I rolled my eyes at Ben. "You honestly do not want to know," I said

He grinned a cheeky one at me and said, "I beg to differ."

At this point Kevin woke up. His first words? "Don't rub your ass on the windshield, Tennyson. I just shined it."

"Kevin!" I nearly yelled. "You abduct me at 4 am in my pyjamas, bring me here, and don't even give me a Smoothie. Well, okay, considering it was cold. All you did was make out with me." I looked up at the sky. 'Where are stupid pigeons when you need them? Here, birdie birdie, poop on his windshield or head or something. I don't particularly care." I pointed a finger accusingly at Kevin. "If we were ever married with four kids, the first thing you'd save in a fire was your car. Your CAR!!! That's all _you_ care about!" Julie was rolling on the ground laughing. Ben grinned at Kevin. Kevin looked rather ashamed. So I just prised the blanket off me and stood up. Ben raised his eyebrows and whistled. "Kevin! All I figured out was you invaded her bedroom. but –" he pointed to my boobs. "never knew you made her bra disappear, too!" Julie was gasping for breath. I just fumed. It's a good way to let off steam.


	3. THREE III

I was still laughing when Gwen hauled the blanket from under Kevin (like snatching a tablecloth from under plates), threw it in the car, and used a big purple fist to slam Kevin into the driver's seat. He sat there, dazed.

I was still laughing, too, when Gwen slammed the driver's door with an 'in-your-face' expression and yelled at Kevin, "You good-for-nothing jackass! I'd chop you in half but it takes two hours to re-sharpen knives!"

But I _really _was hysterical when she went up to Ben, who was still chuckling, just seemed to swipe at his waist, and step back, satisfied. Kevin was watching when Ben took a step forward and his pants fell around his ankles. When you take Karate, you can just _Pwiff_ your hand by in a second and the next thing your opponent knows, their hair is cut down to one-inch stubble. Gwen had undone Ben's buttons and zippers and now all who were there at six-am saw his Garfield underpants. Thankfully, for Ben, most people wait till at least 7 to pick up something cold. _Un_thankfully, too, there was Gwen and me and Kevin. If you know Kevin Levin, then you know the King of the Playground Torture-via-teasings. He was their top dog.

I think I was staring too long at Ben's shorts because he, red-faced, yelled, "Want me to moon you, Kevin Levin?" and me and Gwen just _screamed._ Actually, Ben _did_ moon Kevin, but me and Gwen decided to cover our eyes. The next thing we saw, or rather _heard_, was something like _hhhargh-phtoo-splatth_. Kevin had spit on the moon. "Goddammit Kevin LEVIN!" screamed Ben and started to punch him. Me and Gwen just stepped aside to make friendly conversation.

"How did you see us?" she asked me.

I giggled. Ben says I giggle like a baby rabbit. I think that's a compliment. "I had early tennis practice. Ben picked me up after and we went here to cool down. I swear," I leaned in, checked to see they weren't listening. They weren't. "

"What, what?" Gwen squealed. I stared at her. Normally I'm the squealer (no, not tattling, the actual_ thing)_, and she's the coolest girl I know next to Shakira.

"Sorry," she said, seeing my look. "Was overcome. Go on."

"So, I swear, Ben should be arrested."

She looked at me. "Huh?"

"He was going too fast, Y'know, over the speed limit?"

"He doesn't have a car, girl. Are you okay? Maybe you got too much sun."

"I'm fine," I insisted, then put an arm on her shoulder and rotated us so that the clashing boys were directly out of sight. "I didn't mean his driving," I said, raising my eyebrows, "I meant his _tongue_."

Gwen looked at me. "First time frenching?"

I pretended to be offended. "Just 'cause yougo out with someone who's a couple years older than you…"

Gwen laughed. "Relax. Actually, from the two of us, you're the first to… Oh, gee, Julie, that practice sounded just _exhausting!_" the boys, it seemed, had declared a truce and Gwen was not particularly anxious to be talking about kissing in front of them.

Kevin rolled what he could of his black eye. Ben, it seemed, had already secured his knuckle power. Both of them had some scratches and had their clothes torn up. I grinned evilly (unusual for such a clean good girl, eh?) and mumbled to Gwen, "Let's Mother them."

So Ben and Kevin had the shock of their lives as Gwen and me descended upon them and patted and cooed and kissed every scratch (Except when Kevin claimed his toes hurt), and soon he (Kevin) was looking like a Doberman grabbed by his mistress and made to wear a dress and bows behind his neck. In other words, his dignity was six feet under.


	4. FOUR IV

**Okay - so i am a lazy, idle person. i forget to make Author's notes, even if they're fun. i forget Disclaimers. BUT - check it - FAN FICTION DOT COM!!! even w/out the dot com attached - fan Fiction. Fiction wrote by Fans. Fans are people who like something/someone etc. so - they don't CREATE/OWN that thing. anyway. philosophy of language. boring boring boring.**

**I decided, for the first Author's note of the Story, to make an Internet Dialogue. actually, what i know is you can only chat w/ 1 person aqt a time (or maybe theres sth like conference chat? i don't know, my YM's down and dead), so i'll just expand it to Four. Four kids. yeah.**

**_KickGoalie'sButt has logged on._**

**KickGoalie'sButt: HELLO!!! Empty chatroom much???**

**_SexyRacketBabe has changed her status from Invisible to Available_**

**SexyRacketbabe: Hunny! You're online!**

**_GreenEyedHotsauce has logged on._**

**_VolksvagensSuck has logged on._**

**GreenEyedHotSauce: Julie! Let's go shopping 2morrow!!!**

**SexyRacketBabe: Gr8!**

**VolksvagensSuck: Aww, man!**

**KickGoalie'sButt: Fine. i'll go along. Nada Monstr Movies Scheduld 2morrow.**

**GreenEyedHotsauce: KEVIN!!! COME WITH US!!! WE NEED YOU!!!**

**VolkvagensSuck: Fine. but 1 condition.**

**GreenEyedHotSauce: ?**

**VolkvagensSuck: we go skiny diping 2morrow nite.**

**GreenEyedHotSauce: Skinny and Dipping have double Ns and Ps.**

**VolksvagensSuck: I'll take that as a yes.**

**um..Ben? Julie? You guys...?**

**SexyRacketBabe: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WE WERE JUST LOLing!!!!!! HAVE A NICE E-DATE!!!  
**

**_SexyRacketBabe & KickGoalie'sButt have logged off._**

**GreenEyedHotSauce: They've logged off. i remain a virgin. sorry. NO lake plans!**

**VolksvagensSuck: Fine. Front seat. after we drop off Bonehead and his girlfriend tomorrow.**

**GreenEyedHotSauce: Fine.**

**_GreenEyedHotSauce & VolksvagensSuck have logged off. the Chatroom will be temporarily Closed._**

********

**Well, there..pleh..ill try my luck on A/Ns on other chaps. which may not exist if 5 people forget 2 comment. actually, maybe even 10...**

* * *

I'm pretty sure Gwen was lying – the part about me being the first tongue wrestler between us – to make me feel better. I didn't need that because I had Ben. And, I also had a tutoring sesh with him today, his house. And his parents were in Indonesia. And – we were reckless, hopeless teenagers who looked like straight a/c-fifteen year olds but were really sex maniacs…No, not _really._

I rode my bike – that what I'll call it – to his house. Checked my watch. Was half an hour early. So what? We started now, got finished sooner, got to the goods ahead of time. Sold.

I walked in – he'd forgotten to lock the door – took off my sweater, flung it on the couch, and plopped down on an armchair. He didn't take long in appearing.

"Hey," said my boyfriend, sitting at an angle on the arm of the chair and giving me a long one. We came up for air when he lost his balance and fell on me.

"Good to see you, too," I said, right after realizing he tasted like chilli fries. We wasted ten more minutes on CPR Practice, this time on the floor.

We were doing nothing, him stroking my hair, when I said – "Did it ever occur to us to go and study?"

He laughed a little. "No, at least not yet."

And then he boosted me up, we curled up in two couch ends, and a very long, boring session started. Until I decided to liven it up…

"Okay, now we come to the opinion part of Social Studies. Like, no right /wrong answers, just your opinion…and there're some questions you select, not yes or no…I mean, just say what it is…because, you kno –"

And he grabbed me, yelled, "Stop babbling, you silly, silly fool!" and kissed me again. Hard. He broke it much too soon. "Yeah, question one."

I settled back in my corner.

"Do you think America was right in intervening with the Vietnam War?"

"Maybe?"

"Was Marie Antoinette right in caring only for herself and not the country (France)?"

"No."

"Did Joan of Ark deserve to be beheaded?"

"Nope."

"Am I hot?"

"N – What!? I mean, yes, yes, duhh."

"Good. Now, moving on. Was the King of England wrong to raise the Colonists' Tea tax?"

"He was a complete idiot. Yuh."

"Should Piranhas be in second-grade classrooms?"

"In a perfectly safe container, yes."

"Of the Civil War, which side would you join, the Confederate or Union Troops?"

"Union."

"Fourth of July or Halloween?"

"Fourth of July. It has more food. Halloween is mostly sweets."

"What would you rather make with me; Kids, Love, or Out?"

He jerked up all of a sudden, looked at me with wide eyes.

He'd removed one of my two bra straps when the phone rang, Damn it. Another Mission. "You go bother Ship. I'll wait for you here," I said.

Then I locked the door after him (He had keys), stepped upstairs, and fell asleep on Ben's parents' king-sized bed.

***


	5. FIVE V

**HELLO!!! I M BACK!!! AND AM APOLOGIZING!!! i do realize that was some form of blackmail, asking for 5 reviews or i wouldn't continue the story. and it wasn't that popular (yet). i was only on the fourth chappy. well, here i am, confessing, and promising to be a better non-blackmailer. i just wanted reviews. y'know, insurance?? so, anyhoo...**

***Steps up on stage and taps on myk.***

**the room is filled by the wierd sound of a myk scratching.**

***Clear throat.* "Ahem."**

**People don't pay attention.**

**Yells, "HELLO, PEOPAL!!! CAN I BORROW SOME EAR HEAAR????" everyone freezes in place, turns head to look at me.**

**Me, from the podium, stands straight. *Smotths note in hand.***

***Adjusts reading glasses.***

**"Now, this is very important. so please listen."**

**Crowd hushes, stares intently at me.**

**There is a long, quiet silence while i feel my importance.**

**"Now, everyone, the message i am about to give you will change everyone's life. it will open new doors, enlighten people. open eyes. my important message is this..."**

**Crowd waitss....tension is overcoming....**

**"REVIEW!!"**

***Crowd breaks into cheers, bravvos, whistles, claps.* a few of the rich elegant ladies gracefully unfurl hankies, dab at their eyes, and blow their noses like they are french-horners. men pat each other on the back.**

**"truly inspiring!"**

**"She is _such_ a great social speaker!"**

**"Let's go to her every lecture!"**

**"yes! of course!"**

***I bow humbly, walk off the stage gravely. smile at my admirers before going out into the boulevard &into a chaufer-driver Royce.**

* * *

We finished another crappy mission by stepping on some kid-maniac who-thought-he-was-GREATzilla's back and drove home. I was NOT in a good mood. I'd been watching one of my favorite sappy movies when the call had come. I'd rushed to the TV to click it on when I got home but was greeted by the start of the rolling credits. Amazing how missing a show can make you partially insane. I was screaming obscenities and tearing my hair when a black bullet hurtled through the open French windows, arms sprouted and grabbed me, and I was hustled to my bed. Figures. The black bullet was Kevin Levin. He was leaning over me in my bedroom. And I was in an agitated state.

I'm not sure how, but it ended with me straddling him and tearing his hair and punching him. And also using my shoe to smack the crap out of him.

And then we were rolling on the floor and I was kissing his face (He was crying like a little boy whose finger was broken). And then – well, it was cold, and my parents were out of town, and Ben and Julie were preoccupied, and he was feeling lonely – so we got out of our clothes and under the sheets and whatever happened from this point on is nunna your freaking business.

***

Of course, as predictable, I woke up in Kevin Levin's arms, two mornings in a row. The whole place was reeking of love and his morning breath and drool. Mine. Gross. I wiped it off the corner of my mouth. Kevin twitched in his sleep, pulled me closer. I've read stories about cliché stuff like this. It always appears in those love sick stories: girl wakes in boy's arms. He stirs and pulls her closer. She either watches him or kisses him to wake him up. Stereotype fluff. I wasn't about to do either. Instead, I decided to have some fun.

"Wake up, you bastard!" I yelled, pinching him. He winced and woke up. I was sitting in my underwear and his arms were encircling around my legs/thighs. His hands ended on my butt. And you know what he said? He said…

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"Good morning to you, Madame."

My face was still in an angry mask and I yelled, "Look, you jerk, you tricked me into this! I should have never let you be my friend! Leave me alone! Why did you have to barge in on my privacy? Get away from me!" I shoved his arms away.

His face was definitely confused, until one side of my frown cracked and twitched upward.

"Erhm, What are you doing?"

I sighed. Needed to brush up on the acting…"Toying with your emotions. Get up. The place stinks of you. Know any skunks? My parents won't kill me if I slept with one of those things."

He took my hand, pulled me up. Put an arm round my waist. Walked to the window with me.

He tightened his grip. Leaned out the window – studied the ground before him. And – spat. A big white rolling bowl of saliva. Then kissed me. And led me back, by the hand, to the bed.

I lay down, groaned. "Furreal, Levin. Stop acting hot. You can be another quarter my boyfriend." Now he was my 75% BF. Just great. I can see it on my blog….My 75% boyfriend took me shopping…Me and my 75% boyfriend swam in the lake but not alone…

"Do another smexy thing and you can put your hand in my pocket and be a hundred percent."

"Really?"

"No. just the hundred percent. I'm not _that_ chessy."

***


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